At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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