In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
