My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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