I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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