yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
