im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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