Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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