I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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