we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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