hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
