I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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