This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
