I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
