it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
