i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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