There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
