His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
