They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
