i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
