Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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