is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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