she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Green mimosas i think yes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
