He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
