he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
