and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
