sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
