he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
