Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
