We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
