well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
