Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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