Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
