if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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