Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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