I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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