Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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