Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize