It's Friday. Sex?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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