I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
