yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My vagina just clenched in fear
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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