alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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