I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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