So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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