Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
