I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
