do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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