I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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