Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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