do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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