The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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