Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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