My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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