So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
