did you get engaged???
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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