Where is the hickey?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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