i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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