I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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