lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
