i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
